Friendship

So there is a saying about people coming in to your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. It is a true saying, and sometimes a hard one to accept. I had a "friend" for what I thought was a lifetime, but really it was for a reason. That reason was to teach me to value myself more and not let people take advantage of me and walk all over me. This is a recurring theme in my life and a hard lesson for me. I really loved this person and invested so much of my time and effort in to this friendship. She used me, abused me, and in the end crushed me. I went through a period of mourning after the friendship was over. It was hard for me after that to trust. It was a brutal, brutal ending to the friendship. I now see that I needed that lesson in my life even though it was difficult to go through and come out of. I am getting better at trusting again, but I have learned that trust needs to be earned. I always want to think the best of everyone and most often it is fine, but sometimes I should be more aware of the signs right in front of me.

One thing about me is that I am loyal. That is a word that truly describes me. Once you are in my heart I will defend you to the ends of the earth, do everything I can to make your life easier, and be there no matter what. I now realize that I deserve friends like this too. It is okay to allow yourself to have good friends and accept that some people just aren't good for you no matter how hard you try.

I have another friend who I thought was my friend for a lifetime. Unfortunately we had some difficulties, many due to my actions, and we drifted apart. This great big thing called the Internet has allowed us to reconnect recently. It has been wonderful. Someone who I can trust and talk to about anything. So even if you do lose touch with a lifetime friend, they can come back in to your life. So it doesn't have to be a continuous line of friendship to be a lifetime. We all have those friends who are in and out of our life, but we know that they love us and we love them. I know that I am committed to working hard to maintain this friendship even though we are far away. I know that she is also committed. Friendships are never completely even, but the good ones are close enough that no one notices.

Thank you Lord for bringing people back in to my life when I need them the most. I hope that maybe they need me a little too.